Some people leave you fuller. Some leave you empty.
You clean up your food. You clean up your home. Then you spend two hours with someone and walk out flattened. People are an input too — and it's the one nobody thinks to measure.
- You could be quiet and it wasn't awkward
- You said a real thing and nothing broke
- You weren't managing how you came across
- You thought about it again later, warmly
- You rehearsed before you got there
- You edited yourself the whole time
- You felt behind on something you never agreed to
- You needed an hour alone afterward
Not good people and bad people. Just what's actually happening in the room.
Find your scoreFour questions, asked honestly.
REI is the only index scored from the inside. There's no meter for this one — which makes the honesty of your own answers the whole instrument.
Can you be yourself?
Whether you're performing a version of you, and how much energy that performance costs across a week.
Does it go both ways?
Whether care, attention, and effort move in both directions, or mostly in one.
What happens after?
Whether you leave with more capacity or less. This is the clearest signal you have, and the easiest one to notice once you start looking.
How often, and how long?
Contact time again. A difficult hour once a year and a difficult hour every day are not the same input.
What this is not
REI is not therapy, and it isn't a verdict on anyone in your life. It doesn't tell you to cut people off — most relationships worth having move between charged and drained depending on the season, and the ones that matter most are often the hardest to score.
It's a mirror, not a court. The value is noticing a pattern you'd been carrying without naming. What you do about it is yours — and if something in your life feels heavier than a framework should handle, a licensed therapist or counselor is the right room for it, not a score.
You can eat clean in a house that's quietly costing you.
People fix their food and their home, feel better, then plateau and can't explain it. Often it's this. The plate is handled, the bedroom is handled — and three hours a day are going somewhere that takes more than it returns.
REI carries the least weight of the four indices on paper, and it's the one that most often explains the gap between doing everything right and still feeling flat. It's also the only index where the fix costs nothing but honesty.
Two doors.
The LEDS Quiz
Relationships are one of four. See how yours sits next to food, home, and clothing — and which one is actually holding you back.
Take the quiz → The storyWhy this exists
The framework came out of one body and one life, not a lab. Including the part about who was in the room.
Read the story →You already know the answer. The score just makes you stop avoiding it.
Find your scoreThe Relationship Energy Index is a self-reflection framework. It is not therapy, counseling, or mental health treatment, does not diagnose any condition, and is not a substitute for care from a licensed mental health professional. If you are struggling, please reach out to a therapist, counselor, or someone you trust. In the US you can call or text 988 at any time.